October 28th, 2016
There is dust everywhere. No matter how often I vacuum the floor, the dust keeps settling again onto every surface. It lands on my eyelashes, absorbs into my skin, and sticks to the back of my throat.
November 4th, 2016
In a nightmare last night, six men stood hovering near me in an unremarkable room. They didn’t notice me, but they were unzipping their jeans and one by one comparing themselves to each other. Their penises were detachable, smooth accessories. Everything was plastic or silicone. Some were violet, baby pink, gently ribbed, or shaped like friendly animals – rabbits with elongated ears. Some vibrated, some came with remote controls. I crawled out of the room and found myself in a cornfield, still unnoticed by anyone. Moments later I couldn’t remember how things used to be.
November 5th, 2016.
I had another nightmare. I was wandering the halls of an empty house, searching for the source of an incessant squeaking animal sound that echoed throughout. I walked towards a worn and damp looking cardboard box that was shoved up against a wall. I peered into the box – it contained an assortment of grey and black cables and old power cords. I groped around and tried to untangle the cords to find the shrieking newborn creatures – I wanted them to stop. I stuck my hands further down into the wiry mess, which started to writhe and wrap around my fingers. The black cords finally parted a bit, and a squirming, coiled ball of pink sticky shrieking baby mice rose to the surface of the mass. Their cries were now deafening. The mice were coiled around each other, because they had transformed into fleshy cords themselves – like tiny, flapping, salivating tongues, all knotted up, no heads or tails. They quickly descended into their box-nest again, unraveling and spreading themselves out to join the other materials, and then the noise stopped.
November 10th, 2016
Sometimes I receive Facebook messages from strangers who want to get to know me. They ask me how I am, and where I live.
November 11th, 2016
I woke up coughing and choking on thick white plaster. It filled my throat and mouth and ears and I had to scoop it out, handful by frantic handful until I could breathe again, finally falling back asleep.